There are three talk shows I watch on TV, the late show with david letterman, the daily program with Jon Stewart, and, the show tonight with Jay Leon. (Now I also look The Colbert Report. with Stephen Colbert.)

Stewart is too late for me, but I am able to catch him several times the next day along with Colbert.

In our area, Leno starts at 10:35 pm and Letterman starts at 11:05 pm Why they turn on at these times instead of 10:00 and 11:00 is a mystery to me. I’d just like to say that it really baffles me. I guess I’m picky, picky!

jay leno

I see Leno the first half hour of his show and then Letterman the first half hour of his show.

Sometimes I switch from one side to the other. Clickity, Click!

I usually don’t stay up for the second half of Letterman unless I have a guest who gets along with me.

Leno has (don’t put derogatory comments here) writers. His jokes suck sometimes. But he has that funny little boy humor that gets him through the monologue. Every once in a while all the jokes are funny, but not that often. When he finds a stinker, he points it out as just that and usually laughs.

It’s the albatross around your neck.

Sometimes Leno’s orchestra leader Kevin saves him during dialogue. Kevin sometimes destroys it. Leno is a good sport and he takes it off.

I don’t think there is enough malice, selfishness, anger, etc., in Leno to make him a great comedian, but he usually gets the job done.

Sometimes the skits on the show go well and sometimes they don’t, but I like the skits and hope for the best.

Sometimes he has an outside report of a person who can be funny. She had a couple of ladies a couple of years ago that were fun to watch. I think they’re raising babies now, one in Oklahoma.

Your recent reports haven’t been that funny.

There is a rule in the business that says:

If it’s not fun, it’s too long!

In agreement!

There is NO such rule!

I invented.

I was just trying to show that I am an expert on this topic.

Leno isn’t nosy enough or interested enough in his quest to be a good interviewer. He never gets you into the nuts and bolts of his guest.

Leno might be more effective if he simply said to a guest, “Let’s see. Were you born in Kentucky?”

Prayed,

“I heard you wanted to be a chiropractor when you were a little kid.”

He likes to smell women and say they are pretty. (Letterman does this “sniffing” as well, but in a less intrusive way.)

I like it when Jay has animals. He is very good with them. He always goes above and beyond what is required.

It’s also good when his fellow comedians show up. That’s the bailiwick of him stemming from his continual off-set stand-up comedy routines.

His sidewalk interviews and headlines are always worth watching.

He is the King of late night with a large audience.

David Letterman

David Letterman is an old man with a little boy. He has had coronary bypass surgery. We know that he is human.

Letterman is not based on the monologue. He tells two or three jokes, one about rats or squirrels and their nuts, period. Band leader Paul, like Kevin on Leno’s show, improvises and spoils or reinforces the monologue.

Letterman is anxious to get to his table and from that moment on, you don’t know what will happen.

Letterman uses facial and verbal antics to gain attention. He throws pencils and cards around the study. The other night a man on fire ran through the studio just like the winners of the New York marathon. He had a bear that they kept every night and that is now in hibernation. He plays “Will it Float”, knocks things off buildings, plays with the owner of the diner across the street, and sometimes terrorizes the neighborhood by jumping motorcycles in the street.

Letterman talks to the audience as much as Leno does, but has “Know your cuts of meat” etc. to add interest. Sometimes his guest has a trick or tries to trick the band with a song.

I have a song I want to fool the band with. It’s “Once I went swimming.”

Letterman is a very good interviewer but not as good as Jack Paar or Johnny Carson. He has deeper questions than Leno. I’ve only seen him dumbfounded by a search. (Paris Hilton seems to have something missing that helps most people answer questions rather than just sit back and say: Duhhhh.)

Letterman never forgets his “Top Ten List.” The following is my list for the program:

Why does David Letterman ALWAYS wear white socks?

1. It has jungle rot from World War II.

2. He hates looking for matching socks in the dark.

3. He doesn’t want to forget his “Country Pumpkin” roots.

4. Her brother is a male nurse with a large clothing allowance.

5. Helps him hide in the cotton field from newcomers, plus he’s a fan of the Chicago White Sox.

6. He is an avid whitetail deer hunter.

7. You have a night job at a bakery.

8. He thinks he’s Frosty the Snowman.

9. His great-grandmother wore white stockings and that’s how he remembers her.

And the tenth reason David Letterman wears white socks is:

10. He hopes to audition for the next Mickey-Mouse-type Disney character.

Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart has a cynical humor that makes his young audience laugh. The supporting characters provide skits to add to the fun. I like Samantha, but she can be too vulgar (just like everyone else) and my wife forces me to change the channel.

Stewart also has a guest and the interview is usually serious.

The politicians, on the show, sometimes like to clown around and keep things funny. (They are in danger of being hit by Jon’s ideas.)

The only thing I don’t like about the daily program it’s just too short. Adding the Coverage Report added the extra half hour I needed.

Of course, Stephen Cobert is a complete chump and on his way to fame and fortune.

We need comedy at this funny time.

I’m glad these guys are around!

copyright©John T. Jones, Ph.D. 2005