When it comes to the necessary knowledge about children’s behavior, parents tend to exaggerate a bit. Especially new parents. However, in view of the fact that young children can display very strange behavior, it is important that you do your best not to judge or overthink any given oddity.
It starts with our own parents and becomes the passing of the torch, so to speak. There may be some report or study that explains how one behavior or another will indicate a future problem in the future. This only adds fuel to the fire.
The fact that your child whispers or laughs at a dying pet means nothing at all. We judge people by how they act in or during an instance, too much. It’s okay when they get a little older, like tweens; but any child under the age of 7 should be given a little freedom.
In a way, we are all judged for our behavior in one way or another. But what if someone found you during a singing session that you thought would never have an audience? You wouldn’t want to be judged for this little incident. This is quite demonstrative of all that platitude; “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.”
Children can sometimes act in ways that could indicate one thing or another, when in reality it simply isn’t the case. That is why it is so important to discard first instincts to immediately jump to the conclusions of some kind of serious problem. Realizing your worst fears can actually create them.
I firmly believe that when ADD and ADHD were first brought up to infuse the public with some kind of preparation to explain all the problems that parents had with their children, more harm was done than good. Too many parents said “That’s it! That’s the problem I have with my son!” This turned the problem into a solution for them.
Of course, in some cases this was the problem, but in many cases it BECAME the problem because those kids didn’t actually have Attention Deficit Disorder or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Sometimes we search for answers so diligently that we find them whether we really need them or not.
So this article is about the three things you need to know about child behavior that can help prevent you from making a hasty decision.
The most important thing to know about your child’s behavior is the difference between reaction to stimuli and actual behavior. Not all behaviors come from the same place and this is important. Reactions are ways we handle what is in front of us. Behavior is the way we choose to act.
Some behaviors stem from emotions like fear or happiness. While others stem from psychological thoughts or motivators like “I made you breakfast because I thought you’d like someone to help you for a change.” reactions are not necessarily behavior but a function of behavior. It is not so clearly defined.
The second thing to understand about all the ways children act is that they are still learning what to do and what not to do. In many cases, they will do exactly what they are told not to do and this is actually a good thing. They are trying to learn from experience.
So the second is behavior patterns. Unless it’s something that happens over and over again, it may not be significant. Even if it becomes a pattern, it may not mean much more than a phase. Being patient enough to actually have cause for concern is not an easy thing to do. Speaking from experience, it’s still better to wait rather than rush to the doctor or therapist and tell them what you think is wrong.
After a while, your child may turn around and begin to completely change the tune. If he has already stepped up and started the ball rolling in one direction, he will have wasted valuable time, energy, and money that could have been put to better use.
The last one mentioned in this article is as important as any of the others. Nothing is Final and you always have options. In any diagnosis there is always room for exceptions. Just because the doctor says he may have a problem with one behavior or another doesn’t necessarily mean that he is or will be forever.
You always have options and you can always make a difference in your child’s life. Many people believe that if there is any kind of behavioral concern early on, they will have what many affectionately call a ‘wild child’. This is another one of those things that just isn’t true.
Many also believe that ADD and ADHD also indicate that juvenile or criminal behavior is inevitable. This myth is being debunked little by little. But the fact is that there is such an extremely small percentage that it is surprising that this myth even started to begin with, because it is so unfounded. So if you find yourself on the receiving end of an unwanted diagnosis, always stay calm and keep in mind that this is just one person’s opinion and professional or not, that’s all it really is.
There are a million different things to know about human behavior and how it develops, but not all behavior is worth interpreting. Sometimes people (children included) just act a certain way for the heck of it. Being patient and understanding the differences will go a long way in achieving the peace of mind necessary to allow some legroom.
Keep in mind that there are many different things to know and we are still learning new things about behavior every day. Try not to imagine the worst every time unwanted behavior comes up. Childish behavior is difficult enough to determine without adding to its mystique.