When it comes to seducing women, and I mean the best quality women, the ones who are the “full package” with intelligence, personality, and looks, any type of behavior based on insecurity is a total rejection.

And by the way, this is not something that can be fixed by ‘acting’ confidently. Very often, when you see a man who is making a big show of confidence and making a big fuss, he is really just trying to hide some kind of insecurity.

AND IT IS OBVIOUS.

When you’re trying to ‘do something’ with a woman, you have to be able to demonstrate a lack of insecurity. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you go and ‘peacock’ and try to be the center of attention, grabbing her arm and ‘impressing’ her with card tricks and the like. It just means being able to be relaxed, like you couldn’t care less what she thinks of you, and being able to be relaxed and comfortable with yourself.

When it comes to women, that kind of behavior, the subtle but genuine kind of confidence and lack of insecurity, tends to be a real magnetic force, the true art of seduction. In other words, it “attracts” them. Now, the kind of guy who’s determined to prove something to everyone (that he’s the man, that he’s the life of the party, etc.), whether it’s through peacock clothes or outrageous behavior, in It’s actually not attractive to most women.

Sure, he may attract a certain type of woman…but that’s not necessarily the ‘caliber’ of woman you’re interested in reaching. (Usually the women who find that kind of behavior attractive are the ones with their own major ‘safety’ issues.)

It is an interesting and paradoxical fact that the harder a man tries, the less likely he is to get what he wants. He takes on a guy who is trying to impress a woman, and she will be repulsed.

Take a guy who doesn’t give a damn, who is just laid back and goes with the flow and doesn’t put on a big show to impress anyone, a guy who is committed to being authentically himself, and women will be attracted to that.

Clearly, insecurity is a big turnoff. And the behavior most men tend to adopt when trying to cover up an insecurity really just stands out. It’s no good ‘acting confident’ unless you’re good at ‘acting’… and in all honesty, I hate to say it, but most ‘acts’ are pretty transparent. It is much more effective in the long run to stop focusing on the ‘quick fix’ (ie ‘pretend’) and actually work on becoming more confident and overcoming insecurities for real.

I know I’m always shoving ‘authenticity’ down your throat, but that’s for a reason. It’s because that’s what will get you the life and dating and (eventually) relationships you want. Short-term ‘faking it’ is fine, as long as that’s not your long-term game plan.

I know PUAs (pick-up artists), and those in the pick-up community, push ‘lines’ and ‘routines’ and ‘techniques’ and such on guys as ways to quickly ‘get over’ problems with confidence in themselves and esteem and basic social skills. And when I started reading their exaggerations, I was fooled… AT FIRST.

Then I kicked myself in the ass and remembered that it is just that: hype. In other words, sell the things that sound attractive to most men. And what sounds more attractive to the average guy? INSTANT GRATIFICATION.

That’s why wherever you go, you won’t be able to escape the message that ‘faking things’ is okay…because that’s the message people want to hear. And therefore, that marketing hype sells and generates a lot of profit, because all these guys who are hungry for success, affection, sex and relationships (in other words, about 98% of the male population) believe that it could be true. But is not. It is a pitcher.

Techniques and cover-ups will not give you long-term success with great women. being demonstrably excellent yourself will. That is the conclusion.

So, to sum up my point: If you’re one of those guys who tends to act insecure (you’ll know if you are or not because you WILL FEEL insecure), you need to control it if you want to attract great women into your life. End of story.