Although someone may have a need to grow and develop, that does not mean that they can. One might find that they have been working hard and doing the “right” things but have not been able to get very far.
As a result, they may believe that, unlike others, they have very little control over their life. In fact, it could be as if someone or something “out there” is in control of what happens to them or not.
To get
Now, if they could put this perspective aside and study what they can do to change their life, they could soon come to the conclusion that they have “low self-esteem.” By not valuing themselves, then, they are sabotaging their own success.
The key will be to increase their self-esteem, and as this happens, they will know that they deserve to do well and allow themselves to move on. This, of course, will not be something that happens overnight.
One direction
This is something that can happen by changing your thoughts and behavior – the focus of behavior therapy. By talking to themselves differently and altering their behavior, their view of themselves will begin to change.
On the other hand, one may find that this approach does not have much of an impact on his life. They might be full of hope at first, only to feel even more helpless as time goes on.
Round in circles
If this is the case, they might conclude that they just need to keep doing the same thing. Duplicating what they were doing before will be seen as the path for them to finally move forward.
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This can allow them to move forward or simply lead to the same result. If you allow them to progress, they may find that it won’t be long until their life is back to the way it was before.
A strange scenery
What is clear is that they will want their life to progress, this is a normal and healthy need, but for some reason, this will not happen. Clearly, something is not right and increasing their self-esteem or working even harder is not the solution they are looking for.
If you want to experience more frustration and fall further into the feeling of helplessness, you can continue to do the same. However, this is not what they want, so it will be essential that they try another approach.
Two levels
They will want to move on; there will be no doubt about it. However, this does not mean that all parts of your being want to move on; another part of them might have a very different need.
At this point, one might wonder what is being talked about here. What one needs to realize is that their conscious mind, the part of them that wants to move forward, is only a part of them.
Internal conflict
Along with this part of their being, they also have what is classified as an unconscious mind. It is this part of them, not their conscious mind, that has the greatest impact on what they can and cannot experience.
So while one may believe that someone or something “out there” is holding them back, it is likely this part of them that is sabotaging their life. However, to say that he is sabotaging their life would not be entirely accurate, as this part of them is simply trying to protect them.
Confusion
Hearing this, one might have a hard time understanding how what is happening is protecting them. In order for them to understand why this part of them thinks it is protecting them, they will need to reflect on what happened during their early years.
If you were able to connect with what happened at this stage in your life, you may find that you were not freely loved. Perhaps, the only thing he loved them was when they were sick, they weren’t doing very well and they pleased their caregivers.
A powerful partnership
To dig deeper, they may have only received approval, attention, and acceptance when they weren’t in a good place and were hiding their true self. By having these experiences on a regular basis, they would have come to believe that the only way they would survive and be loved was if they remained small and did not shine with their light.
This likely shows that their caregivers found it difficult to love and thus could not really love them for who they were. The “love” that they did give them would have been based on their playing a certain role and, therefore, conditional.
Recycling the past
Many, many years have passed since this stage in your life, but the beliefs and associations that were formed will control your life. On a conscious level, they will want to move forward, but on an unconscious level, this will be seen as something that will threaten their survival and cause them to be unloved.
In order for your life to change, it will be necessary for you to harmonize these two parts of your being when it comes to this area. Once they know that they can succeed and survive and be loved, there can be no reason for them to hold back.
Conscience
If you can relate to this and are ready to change your life, you may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.