What a man may find, if he steps back and reflects on his life, is that, on the whole, his relationships with women have been anything but harmonious. So when the ‘battle of the sexes’ is mentioned, you probably won’t find it difficult to relate to what is being talked about.
So when it comes to your relationships, this area of your life will often have been full of drama and ups and downs. So unlike a woman who compliments him, she will have rubbed him the wrong way, so to speak.
in the same boat
Chances are, he has met many men who have had the same experiences as him. As a result of this, he might believe that this is how relationships between men and women are.
Because of this, you might believe that men and women just aren’t meant to be together. At this point, it may seem like your only option is to avoid getting into a relationship and do your best to avoid women in general.
a closer look
If you were to look back on your life, you may find that the way you experience life is nothing new. For as long as he can remember, he may have had troubled relationships with women.
If this is the case, it won’t be a surprise if he thinks that’s the way it is when it comes to women and that there’s nothing he can do about it. The problem is that his need to connect with a woman is not going to go away; that does not mean that he cannot repress himself and end up sexualizing himself.
a poor replacement
But, even if this happens and he ends up looking for only one woman to satisfy his sexual needs and emotional needs that have also become sexualized, it is unlikely to have a positive effect on him. Of course, she’ll probably feel fine while she meets them, but soon after, it’s likely to be very different.
You may feel empty and deprived, being very clear that satisfying your sexual needs is not enough. The false sense of ‘intimacy’ that he experienced when approaching a woman’s body will not have been emotionally satisfying.
going deeper
Now, even though your life may have more or less always been like this and you may have met many men who are in the same position, this does not mean that this is life. So while it may seem like his experiences reflect what life is like, it would be more accurate to say that they reflect what he is like.
What this boils down to is that he, and everyone else on this planet, is not simply observing reality. His outgoing ego-mind, along with his eyes, will create this impression but it is an illusion.
Mirror
Therefore, the experiences he has reveal more about what happens to him than what happens to women. However, this does not mean that his life is purely a reflection of what is going on in his conscious mind; it is also a reflection of what is going on in his unconscious mind.
After hearing this, that is, if he hasn’t completely dismissed what has been said and seen it as ridiculous, he might wonder how what’s going on ‘out there’ relates to him. On the one hand, he could say that he wants to have harmonious relationships with women; he doesn’t want to experience life this way.
A Multifaceted Being
Even if this happens, what doesn’t change is that he is made up of many parts and there is a strong possibility that he carries a number of parts within him that are not in a good way. It’s likely these parts that make you co-create a life like this.
To understand why he carries parts within him that are doing this, you’ll need to take a closer look at his early years. This was probably a time in his life where he had a very challenging relationship with his mother.
back in time
His mother may have been emotionally unavailable (and in a deeply traumatized state) and thus unable to truly be there for him during this important stage of his development. This would have meant that his needs were rarely met and this would have caused him great suffering.
He would not have been able to connect with her and this relationship would have meant their relationship was anything but harmonious. Instead of being warm and caring, she would have been cold and distant.
the next stage
Attaching himself to receiving love from her would then have been like trying to draw blood from a stone; a stuffed animal may have been able to provide more love. Over the years, she may have done her best to push him down, not lift him up.
And, while this was going on, she may have also gone out of her way to do the same to her father (who was probably a broken man). There would then be conflict between him and her mother and between the man with whom she would have identified, her father, sending an indirect message that this is the way things are between men and women.
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An unhealthy model
His mother would have provided his first model of what women are like, and would have led him to believe that women are reticent, aloof, cold and threatening and that they are essentially his enemy. Thanks to this, she will need to be on her guard and protect herself when she is around them; she will not be able to open up to them.
Not only would this have given her an unhealthy role model for women, but it would also have caused her to develop an unhealthy relationship with her own feminine aspect. This side will relate to giving, letting go, receiving, and being vulnerable, and each of these will be seen as a risk.
Awareness
These early experiences will have left you with a series of limiting beliefs and emotional wounds. There would have been conflict outside of him from the beginning and now there will be conflict within him.
If a man can relate to this and is ready to turn his life around, he may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.