Have you ever tried to ride a slide down the slide instead of the ladder?

So is trying to date an Aspie (someone on the autism spectrum) or a Nypical (a neurotypical individual who is not on the autism spectrum) without an understanding of the culture.

Here is the definition of culture from Dictionary.Com.

I borrowed the specific shades of meaning most appropriate for the quotes:

a) a particular form or stage of civilization

b) the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a certain social, ethnic or age group

There are many flavors of culture on the dating menu. Increasingly, the world has become a tapestry of diversity in terms of people’s culture.

Fortunately, the Aspie culture is becoming more recognized and accepted as another beautiful expression of humanity.

If you become a cultural anthropologist, you will succeed in appreciating your girlfriend/boyfriend

If you are Nypical, learn about Aspergers. Here are some tips:

  • Go to forums, like WrongPlanet.Net. Read different threads to better understand Aspies’ challenges, joys, despairs, and ways of thinking.

  • Check out Tony Attwood’s Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome. Dr. Attwood’s book has been heralded as one of the most important resources for Aspies after they discover their diagnosis.

  • Consider joining a local autism or Asperger’s chapter/group in your area. You will learn a lot from Aspies and his friends and family.

  • Don’t assume that all of Asperger’s traits apply to your partner. Your partner is on the autism spectrum. Spectrum means varied and different. While some of the features are common, there may be many that do not apply.

  • Recognize that it takes time. You can’t expect to feel comfortable in Thailand as an American for at least five years of living immersed in the culture. That’s a long time. So be patient and enjoy the journey of meeting that person you are dating.

  • Read Dr. Cindy Ariel’s book, Loving Someone With Asperger Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with Your Partner

If you’re an Aspie, learn about Nypicals

Nypicals are also on a spectrum. What is normal? I don’t think it exists. Your boyfriend/girlfriend has its own specific wiring: a generalized brain. He/she may have other mental health conditions.

  • Pay attention to your interests, values, cultural education, family.

  • Remember that you have social blindness and difficulty seeing things from the point of view of others. It does not mean that you are indifferent or insensitive. But your dating partner might see you that way. I recommend you check out Michelle Winner Garcia’s Social Thinking website (socialthinking.com) for more information.

  • Pretend you are a Nypcial. In other words, learn about Asperger’s Syndrome. You may not be aware of all the strengths and weaknesses you have. I recommend that you read John Elder Robinson’s books: Look me in the eye and be different.

  • Appreciate that the Nypcials’ way of seeing the world and doing things is as different as your own. Neither better nor worse. Just different.

Final Words: Culture Shock

According to Wikipedia, culture shock is the personal disorientation a person may feel when experiencing an unfamiliar way of life due to immigration or visiting a new country, or changing social environments.

A person visiting the new culture goes through a honeymoon phase, when everything different seems wonderful. But then the talks is established, taking up to three months. Differences arise between the visitor’s culture and the surrounding environment, generating anxiety and discomfort, particularly in the area of ​​communication. During the adjustment phase Following (6-12 months), the visitor develops routines, understanding and a basic level of comfort with the different cultural environment. Finally, during the domain phase (up to 5 years), the visitor feels very comfortable with the new culture. This does not mean that the visitor loses his cultural identity; it simply means that you are able to comfortably navigate both your own cultural environment and that of others.

The adjustment phase is crucial. And I would say the same about your dating relationship. According to Wikipedia, these are the possible outcomes during the Adjustment Phase:

  • Some people find it impossible to accept the foreign culture and integrate. They isolate themselves from the host country environment, which they come to perceive as hostile, withdraw into a “ghetto” and see a return to their own culture as the only way out. These “Rejectors” also have the greatest problems reintegrating into their homes after return.

  • Some people fully integrate and take on all parts of the host culture while losing their original identity. They usually stay in the host country forever. This group is sometimes known as adopters.

  • Some people manage to adapt to the aspects of the host culture that they see as positive, keeping some of their own and creating their own unique mix. They do not have major problems to return home or relocate elsewhere. You can think of this group as somewhat cosmopolitan.

What outcome will you choose for your relationship? Up to you.