Jealousy and envy are often used interchangeably as if they have the same meaning or are synonyms. This is wrong, of course, since jealousy is markedly different from envy.
Basically, jealousy involves at least three parties and, in fact, most of the time no more. Envy at its basic level involves only two parties or two entities. These are the characteristics of what differentiates jealousy from envy.
* Jealousy refers to someone who perceives a threat from a third party to a relationship in which he or she is involved with another party. There is the jealous partner, the loved partner, and the threatening part.
* Envy is basically wanting something that another person has or not approving of someone having something.
* Jealousy is normally driven by fear and insecurity on the part of one of the partners in a relationship.
* Envy is normally driven by covetousness, spite and covetousness.
* Jealousy tends to seek reassurance in security and once this is addressed, jealousy lessens or disappears.
* Envy can sometimes seek the downfall or decline of another and is more focused on competition with a rival. In a sense, envy can produce a positive outcome for the envious person, as this can provide some motivation to achieve something that would probably not be achieved under other circumstances.
Obviously, there is a big difference between jealousy and envy, but there are also some similarities. One similarity is how each affects relationships. Both have the ability to be damaging to relationships.
Jealousy, especially the intense kind, has the potential to drive couples apart and create a lot of suspicion and mistrust. In fact, these are some of these very characteristics that form the basis of intense jealousy.
Envy can make relationships very strained and dysfunctional to the point of affecting personal performance. For example, in the workplace, where there may be a lot of envy from co-workers over things like promotions, raises, and positions, this can affect employee morale and job performance.
Dealing with envy and jealousy
There are differences and similarities between dealing with envy and dealing with jealousy. Both require a lot of reflection on the origin of the problem or the emotions. However, while the envious person may not seek answers beyond himself, the jealous person may have to partner with another party, namely the loved one, to get to the bottom of what is causing the jealousy.
In either case, both require introspection on the part of the person harboring the feelings of jealousy or envy.