Over the years, many people have asked me why adoption is so expensive. While I have to agree that there are some agencies that seem more “out to make money” than doing any kind of community service to help children, I do understand some of the costs involved. Here are five fees to understand. A word of warning, explore these tips before signing any contract. Once locked into a contract, these tips can help, but they can’t save you from working with a greedy agency.
First, all agencies have separate fees for everything within the adoption situation itself, but not all agencies will tell you what they are. For example, when one agency says an adoption will cost $25,000 and another says it costs $20,000 plus $5,000 for additional counseling and paperwork, the fees might actually be for the exact same things. One may be telling you the breakdown and the other may not be. None of these agencies are doing it right or wrong, it’s just the style of the agency.
SecondBefore you agree to anything, it is totally acceptable for you to ask for a breakdown of an adoption professional’s fees and what these fees are used for. Try to keep in mind that some fees cover things that won’t be fully discussed. For example, when an agency says $12,000 for agency expenses, this could include things like the social worker’s salary, mileage to and from appointments with the birth mother or home, advertising, phone bills, rent (for the agency, not for the mother) and general overhead expenses of running any business.
Third, some agencies charge a large fee to cover all of the birth mother’s expenses that will be incurred during the time the agency is caring for her and some agencies will split it into smaller payments for the period of time the birth mother is pregnant . . If it’s a high fee, understand that the agency will try to recover some of the expenses they incurred for it before you took responsibility. If these are smaller payments, assume that you will be responsible for paying from the time the birth mother chooses you until at least one month after the birth, since the birth mother will not be able to return to work to cover her expenses. It is always acceptable to ask specifically how much is going to the particular birth mother, such as counseling, rent, clothing, etc. and if they are continuous rates or if they are all included in the rate that has been indicated to you.
Four, the amount quoted to you in your agreement with the adoption professional must always be FULL and CONCLUSIVE unless otherwise stated in the contract you sign with them. This means that once you sign the contract for a certain amount in fees, they are not legally allowed to coerce, insist, or assume that you will pay for anything else. And yes, this means that if it’s not in writing that she has to, and the birth mother suddenly says that she needs to pay her cell phone bill, she doesn’t have to, even if (and especially if) ) tell them. will affect the outcome of the adoption. If your agency suggests that is the case, please let the BBB and the Department of Human Resources in your state know if they do. This is unacceptable.
FifthPlease ask lots of questions about whatever type of fee you are paying! You have the right to full disclosure, a term often used by adoption professionals. If an adoption agency tells you that the expenses are for “various office related expenses” this may be true and may cover the things mentioned above like utilities etc. On the other hand, just because they tell you specifically what it’s for doesn’t mean you have to agree. One agency I know charges about $9,000 to each client for “advertising expenses”, which I think is marginally justified but terribly excessive.
If the amount of any fee seems excessive or an agency is being too vague, you must decide whether the answer they have given you is good enough for you and whether or not you want to proceed with contracting with them. Some adoption professionals are all too aware of the emotional state of adoption and many adoptive parents feel at the mercy of everyone and can’t ask too many questions for fear of ruining their chances of adopting. I can tell you that this is not true! There are more than enough good adoption professionals out there who will answer your questions honestly at rates that make sense. So ask!