To position yourself for a good sandbox game, you can’t retreat to your corner and turn your back on challenges that make you want to do exactly that: turn your back on them.
You must face the circumstance.
Retreating is not a sign of weakness, in fact building a “golden bridge” for someone to reframe their retreat from a tough stance to be open to their ideas is a technique to help you keep moving toward a better solution. .
For example, you can ask for their opinions or ideas, give them options to choose from, or let them know that you are willing to continue looking for solutions together.
Leverage their input with your ideas.
This strategy could help them take ownership of the agreement process and save face with their colleagues and counterparts.
One thing I learned from the Harvard Negotiation and Leadership Program is that when it comes to tough negotiations, people often want to “save face” with their colleagues and counterparts. While it’s important to save face and look good to yourself and others, it’s especially difficult when parties to the relationship or negotiation have taken a tough stance.
Another example is my friend Bernie from the Ford dealership down the road from where I live. He mailed a card to a customer who, after shopping around, decided not to buy Bernie’s car from him. The card had a gold bridge on the front and the inscription encouraged the gentleman to consider the Ford dealership if he ever needed another car. The man came the following week and bought his wife a car, saying he thought Bernie would have been mad at him for shopping elsewhere, but the card proved otherwise.
There is always a win-win solution when you seek the highest and best for all parties involved. If you can’t find your way, give me a call, because the high cost of conflict is avoidable and the profits can be used for better things.