Do you constantly feel stifled, restricted, or stifled by your clingy girlfriend’s excessive neediness, jealousy, or controlling behavior? Being in a relationship should lead to one’s growth, with both partners making commitments and helping each other broaden their horizons. If you feel more like a hostage than a loved one, you may be in a codependent relationship.

A codependent relationship, which is often unhealthy, is characterized by having a partner who:

1) Demands to be by your side more often than necessary

2) Expect a call from you several times a day

3) You need to know where you are at all times

4) He feels jealous when he is with other women.

5) It discourages you from having friends

6) Frown when spending time with male friends

7) Stay alert for fear of slipping

8) You constantly analyze everything about your relationship

9) Pressures you to commit to things you are not ready for, like marriage.

10) Acts Overprotective or Inappropriately Clingy in Public

It takes two to be in a codependent relationship, therefore you also play a role in this unhealthy setup. It is important for you to recognize that a relationship in which one is unstable or controlling often results in physical and mental stress for the other, and tolerating such a relationship will eventually lead to a miserable existence for both of you.

Women who are clingy, needy, or overly jealous tend to have major self-esteem issues. And you might have those issues, too, since people with similar levels of self-esteem tend to be attracted to each other. Try to address these issues with your partner if possible so that you both can work toward a healthy relationship. Let him know how his controlling and demanding ways make you feel repressed and stifled. Let him know how important a sense of freedom and independence is to you.

However, many men find it difficult to discuss these issues with their dominant partners. They are afraid that talking about these issues will cause her to overreact or cause more conflict. He may need a third party to help him address these issues, where he can speak freely without fearing the consequences.

On the other hand, you may feel the need to end the relationship, but you can’t do it for many reasons and because the time is not right. This usually puts men in a quandary as they want to end the relationship for their own good, but can’t find the will or strength to leave. Since he himself is codependent, several reasons prevent him from taking such a step:

• He doesn’t have the heart to hurt her and see her cry.

• He fears that she won’t be able to handle the breakup, will lose control, and do something drastic that could ruin their lives.

• She depends on him for what he can provide (house, ride, etc.), and they have shared property or assets

• They are engaged and all expect a wedding

No matter what the reason is, the bottom line is that you feel responsible for her and you think she couldn’t live without you. The truth is, there is no better time to leave than now, and no one else can but you. Nothing is impossible when you put your heart and mind into it.