If you’re going through a breakup right now, then your emotions are super-charged and heightened and you’re just not acting like yourself, are you? Here are the top 20 breakup mistakes that are not only driving your ex crazy, but are ensuring you’ll never get back together. I’m going to reveal what they are and then explain how you can completely wipe the slate clean and still get them back.
I’ve compiled my top 20 breakup mistakes after months of counseling men and women in 31 countries going through a very painful breakup. I encourage you to read each one and take notes if needed and keep reading to the end where I reveal how you can STILL get them back even if you’ve made every mistake on this list!
Mistake #1 – Allowing your ex to totally control your life
You and your ex may not even realize you’re doing this or actually allowing your ex to do this, but after your breakup, your knee-jerk reaction is to fully analyze virtually every facet of your relationship and your breakup. to the limit. to drive you crazy
That is not going to accomplish anything and will only keep you stuck in the healing process.
Mistake #2: Staying friends with your ex
Many heartbroken people remain friends with their ex for one reason only: in the hope that one day they will realize that they really are meant to be together.
WRONG. Once you fall into the friend’s trap, it’s very hard to get out and it’s not something I recommend.
Mistake #3: Bombarding your ex with texts
Basically, you’re not going to leave your ex alone because you don’t want him to go on with his life without you.
This is one of the worst things you can do because often all it does is make sure they made the right decision not to be with you right now.
Mistake #5: Sending angry emails to your ex
As stated above, when you make this mistake, you are taking it out on your ex in anger at the pain they have caused you.
THIS IS A NO-NO because all it will do is drive a potentially permanent wedge between you and ensure that your ex moves on very quickly.
Mistake #6: Sending desperate emails to your ex
This mistake is different from #5 because instead of being angry you are desperate. You are acting pretty weak trying to get your ex to understand how much he has broken your heart and how much you need him in your life.
When you behave this way, you are acting too high maintenance and also too desperate, and that is NOT going to be attractive to your ex!
Mistake #7: Calling your ex 24/7
Let’s face it, you’re not calling them with good intentions: you’re calling them because you want to know where they are, are they home, who are they with, is anyone home with them?
This kind of harassing behavior could end up with an AVO, so wait, this is not the way to get your ex’s attention!
Mistake #8: Stalking your ex regularly at hangouts
Well, all of a sudden you have this crazy desire to be wherever your ex goes, because if you’re not there, how are they going to think of you now that you’re not together anymore, right?
WRONG! Not only will this not seem like a coincidence, but it will really turn off your ex, turn off your friends and your ex’s friends, and you might end up with a nice visit from a cop!
Mistake #9 – Lending money to your ex
So you’re throwing good after bad money at your ex because you think this way you’ll be able to keep in touch with your ex and “owe” you.
AGAIN WRONG. You are setting yourself up not only for an emotional but also a financial downfall here… Once your ex knows that they can come to you as their ATM, they will be feeding you lies and nonsense to make you feel like you are special to them. .. but there will always be a BUT!
Mistake #10 – Remaining friends with your ex’s family
While there is nothing wrong with being on friendly terms with your ex’s family, if you suddenly start dating them hoping to accidentally bump into your ex, that’s not a good thing.
Mistake #11 – Trying to make your ex jealous
The key to making someone jealous is to NOT make it obvious. Unfortunately, though, a lot of people aren’t very good at this and they make it abundantly clear when they have their cousin’s best friend from the interstate messing around with their instant love interest when they come into town for a quick visit.
In fact, you’ll be much luckier if you get on with your life and aren’t afraid to meet new people.
Mistake #12 – Having sex with your ex
Yeah, a coworker emailed me recently saying we just broke up and we’re meeting tomorrow for sex, okay?
Why would you think that’s okay?
I mean, if you want to be your ex’s boyfriend or girlfriend, you need to stop acting like their girlfriend or boyfriend when you’re no longer in a relationship with them; otherwise, what incentive will they have to get back together with you? .
Mistake #13: Constantly asking your ex for a second chance
You can’t get by without your ex, that’s for sure, but you don’t need to make it constantly obvious to your ex all the time.
While that will certainly stroke their ego, it will also probably drive them totally insane, so stay away and you’ll get much better results.
Mistake #14: Badmouthing your ex to your family and friends
Unless you plan to never get back together with your ex, don’t badmouth him or her to everyone close to you. And definitely don’t spill some juicy details that your ex would die if he knew you told him.
You have to think about the big picture here… Your ex will never come back to you unless they are 100 percent comfortable doing so.
Mistake #15 – Badmouthing your ex to their family and friends
It applies even more to your ex’s friends and family. Never think for a moment that they will keep their conversations with your ex private.
If you talk badly about her, you’re not only going to get on your ex’s nerves, but also their friends and family!
Mistake #16 – Throwing pity parties
Another desperate effort to get back together: making your ex feel so sorry for you…some people even go so far as to say they’ll kill themselves if they don’t get back together with you.
Not only is such blackmail totally childish and an unfair kind of pressure to put on your ex, and your relationship, even if you did get back together, would have little chance of success!
Mistake #17: Driving your friends and family crazy by always talking about your ex
Okay, this is going to hurt a bit, but you had a life before your ex, and guess what, you managed to have some interesting conversations before you met your ex. So don’t drive your friends and family crazy or isolate yourself from the people who really care about you.
Mistake #18: Appearing needy and clingy towards your ex
This may be your gut reaction, but all this behavior will do is reinforce your ex’s desire not to be with you because you are so demanding.
Mistake #19 – Giving threats and ultimatums
You are desperate and acting totally irrational and all you want is for your pain to go away so you will do almost anything to get your ex back.
Doling out threats and ultimatums won’t bring you a happy ending, so behave with dignity and you’ll be amazed at the difference.
Mistake #20 – Being vindictive
You’re angry and you want them to get hurt, so you’re going to return the favor, right?
WRONG! You have to think long term here… that will not only infuriate your ex but everyone he knows and could also get you in a lot of trouble with the law!
Hey, I said 20 break errors, but I’m going to add one more for good measure, okay?
BONUS – Mistake #21: Making false promises that you will change
Granted, we all have a few little things we could probably improve about ourselves and some of them can be quite realistic… however, others don’t even bother.
While it’s possible to dress up a bit, there’s no use pretending to be someone you’re not because your armor will come off when you least expect it and you’ll be alone again anyway.
Now that’s quite a list, right?
Do you know why these are so common mistakes?
Because your emotions are completely out of control as a result of your breakup and you will do ANYTHING to make the pain stop and get your ex back.
You and I both know that acting this way is not the real you, right?
You’re not a stalker, you’re usually not clingy, needy, desperate, or even as obsessed as you’ve been lately!
Let’s put the shoe on the other foot for a minute. If your ex was acting like you have recently, would YOU want them to come back?
Let’s face it: you are high maintenance, you are very emotional, you are clingy, you are desperate, you are obsessive: you are NOT the person your boyfriend/girlfriend, wife/husband fell in love with?
How to wipe the slate clean
The first thing you need to do is accept right now that you ARE broken (but in your mind it’s temporary).
So what you need to do is heal AS FAST AS POSSIBLE so that you can unleash your true self under all that emotional turmoil that your ex is FALLING CRAZY IN LOVE with.