When a person, of any age, is struggling with mental health issues, they may prefer to keep it private, anticipating that it could be seen as a sign of weakness, which could threaten their future choices, friendships, and quality of life. They may adopt a stiff upper lip, not wanting to reveal how vulnerable or fragile they really feel. However, this approach rarely improves anything and suppressing things can sometimes escalate problems.
Until we are affected or lose someone close, we rarely have a clue of the staggering statistics on mental health, stress, and suicide. Every 40 seconds someone in the world dies by suicide and it remains the leading cause of death for men under 45 in the UK. We recently had some important reminders in the journal; World Grief Awareness Day, World Suicide Prevention Day, Twin Towers Anniversary, World Mental Health Day, every day that reminds us of the fragility of life and the importance of supporting each other. each other.
There are ways that we help both ourselves and others to live a more “in touch” life. Let’s start by looking at young people, who often have so much to do in their lives. Fear of missing something is often a factor, as friends post pictures of their busy and incredible lives on social media. It matters little that these images are posed, edited, and displayed for public consumption. A young person may simply see their friends as happier, more popular, and successful than they are.
They may be in a circle where they are being bullied, feeling inferior, excluded, different. They may be struggling with their sexuality and identity, worried about their future choices and options. If they compare themselves unfavorably to other family members, it can be difficult if they feel like a failure and don’t want to be a disappointment.
Some misbehavior can be part of the job description for being a teenager, but it’s important to stay in touch with their lives nonetheless.
– Pay attention. Is the young man behaving differently, is there a change in his attitude? Have they been angry, moody, silent, go out less often, spend more time in their room? Sometimes young people do not want to worry, annoy or disappoint their closest and loved ones. But that can further increase your stress levels as you struggle to cope and stay strong.
– Try to sit and eat together regularly. thus the family bond is reinforced. It also provides an opportunity to notice if something is ‘wrong’, if your appetite has changed, if you have become withdrawn or unhappy.
– Treat everyone as an individual and doing things separately instead of always doing it with “the kids.” Respect their uniqueness. In that way, you will support them to develop and become people.
– Teach them to practice gratitude. Cultivate the habit of being grateful for at least 3 things each day. Someone to pay them a compliment, the fact that there is running water, that they have food on the table can be a start.
– Make sure there are opportunities for ‘light’ conversations, instead of sitting, more formal. Chatting while cooking or driving can be a good time for “you seem a little calmer recently” conversations. An informal chat can be more beneficial than a full interview and allows them to discuss what they think.
– Give them space to talk freely. It can be tempting to finish their sentences or guess what they are thinking, but even friendly silence can sometimes be fine when it gives you time to reflect and process what’s going on internally.
– Congratulate them on the things they do well. And include some of those activities in your family time so they get a regular boost of confidence. It is good to let them share their enthusiasm with the rest of the family.
– Remind them that failure is okay. It is important to test your limits and get out of your comfort zone. But doing so means risking failure, that not everything will be a victory or turn out as expected, even after a lot of effort and commitment. Failure can be part of the light and the shadow of life; learning to cope with setbacks and rejection teaches resilience. Getting up again is an important lesson for adult life.
– Encourage them to give back. Volunteering and focusing on something else, like an animal sanctuary or visiting an elderly neighbor, can be ways to expand your world, learn empathy, and see the big picture.
– Chat with your teacher. to discuss how things are going at school or college. Has your behavior changed, is there any cause for concern? Sometimes a red flag can be if your child suddenly plunges into his work, avoiding socializing and detaching himself from previous groups of friends.
And don’t consider viewing your GP or therapist as a failure. Doing so can provide valuable guidance and be the first step on your road to recovery.